Toasting and Roasting

An hour of catching up with old friends, seldom seen relatives, and your closest family members all while soaking in a wonderful atmosphere enjoying  your favorite beverage experiencing new foods and feeling the energy of a party beginning to build with the excitement of relaxing, enjoying, and celebrating a couple’s first step on their journey together as husband and wife. Fantastic! It can’t get any better! Minutes away from the anticipated indulgence of a scrumptious meal soon to be served. The only thing between you and the next fine experience of the evening are the toast(s) by loved ones of the Bride & Groom?

Fifteen minutes later and you’ve forgotten what you have experienced that first hour, how much fun you were having or what you had ordered for dinner. You have now endured  twenty minutes of an endless recantation of every story that the Maid of honor for the wedding could remember from the past two decades. Short essays scribbled on an seemingly endless stack of pieces of paper. Nothing inappropriate but humor only found by those select few who have any idea what she is talking about.  It’s O.K. though, she’s wrapping it up,,,, wait,,,, RATS!!! She’s written on the backs of the papers also. She’s done, Yippee! Now the Best Man will keep it short and sweet. Wrong, not short and not sweet. Is the best man aware that the Mother’s of the Bride & Groom (not to mention the now Wife of said Groom) are sitting directly in front of him as he retells the story of the night at the ballet, the stories of ex-girlfriends, imitations of the Grooms most recent evening of over indulgence? Now thirty minutes later (seems like a visit to the dentist) and the proverbial winds have been sucked out of your good time party sails.

This is really very simple, keep it simple! Everyone already knows how much you love and are loved by the Bride & Groom. You are the Best Man or Maid of Honor, you were picked for their wedding because, next to their now spouse, you are likely their most trusted and loved friend in the room.

Toast Do NOT Roast! Toast to their love for each other. Toast to their future life together. Toast to their successes and triumphs. Toast to their long, prosperous and fruitful life together. Toast to their dreams, aspirations, and Toast to the reality that they are now bound together for eternity.

What needs to be said can be said in 3 – 4 minutes. The rest can be said in private with a small group of friends not at the expense of 150 other guests who know nothing of what you are talking about.

Simple Tips for a memorable and appreciated Toast;

1. Find appropriate inspirational quotes from famous people.
2. Maximum length is 5 minutes, preferably 2 – 4 minutes.
3. Plan ahead and practice.
4. Do NOT speak of
1. Ex girl friends, boy friends, or spouses
2. Past inappropriate behaviors
3. Anything to do with bodily functions

Follow these tips, and you'll be well on your way to a memorable toast!

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net/m_bartosch

The Bride's Bill Of Rights?

Interesting to ponder, if left up to the devices of a diverse group of brides, what a Brides bill of rights would contain. We can certainly imagine some demands a Bride could contrive. The likely #1 position would be taken by a summary of the previous blog, BrideZilla the Myth, “My Day My Way!” Other topics surely to be top contenders would certainly revolve around bridesmaids dresses, families opinions of the wedding dress, themed weddings, wedding favors, who’s responsible for what, the list that would be generated could fill a wedding guest book.

Fortunately for all those in that immediate circle around the Bride this list of inalienable rights was not written by a Bride. While cultural, socioeconomic, geographical and periodic societal views on marriage may all be constantly evolving, in some instances regressing; there is common ground that all Brides would probably agree upon with reason and consideration for all those involved.

From the perspective of bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents of the bride & groom, siblings of the bride and everyone else who thinks that their opinion is so critical to the success of the big day, this Brides Bill of Rights may seem more alien than inalienable. Some may consider it more selfish than reasonable. Others will compare it to a demand list of a spoiled child. What they all need to consider doing, is with the most sincere honesty to themselves, imagine it were their wedding day. To be truly empathetic and understand that this one day should be the greatest most important day in a young woman’s life.

The list is simple, short, and flexible; molding to every Bride’s particular situation:

        The Bride's Bill of Rights

1. The Bride’s final decision on a wedding dress will be applauded by all as the best choice for her. Constructive comments during the process should be made wisely and with sensitivity to the Bride.
2. The Brides vision of her wedding day will be considered the plan for the day and every professional and family member involved will make every reasonable attempt to fulfill this dream
3. The Bride’s option to give permission to every detail, make requests for out of the ordinary details, and personalize every detail specific to her own personality and character shall not be infringed upon in the attempt to “make as many people happy as possible”.
4. The Bride shall have the understanding that all of her guests will be grateful to be invited to this day of sharing and love and will appreciate every accommodation that has been provided for them.
5. The Brides opinion is the most important opinion, the second most important opinion is that of the Groom which is likely to be the same as the Bride.
6. The Bride has the power of Veto and can only be overridden with a consensus of all parents and the Groom which if this were the case he would be referred to as the Fool!

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net/Jonathan Fitch

Bridezilla the Myth!

 “My Day My Way” visions of the mythical Bridezilla immediately flash before your eyes. However, the truth is that every Bride should be indulged on this day, having every vision come to fruition and meeting every expectation she has dreamed of for this once in a lifetime experience.

Brides are not making unrealistic requests or expecting unreasonable tasks to be accomplished in order to complete their day in the fashion that they have been forming in their minds for months if not years. Brides have a vision of their day specific to them and it is the task of the professionals to make those dreams be a reality.  

And therein lies the key, the “Experienced Professional” who treats every wedding as if it is their daughter’s. Professionals who believe that a couples wedding day is the start of their new life, the most important day of their life and that marriage is the center of their lives. Professionals who lead by asking questions and providing answers to questions that haven’t been asked yet. Lead, guide, inform, and assist couples to formulate a plan and clarify their visions are the primary responsibilities of every wedding professional. Brides that hire qualified, competent, experienced professionals in every wedding category will never be the BrideZilla.

Every Bride has their own distinct personality that molds their wedding day into an event that is truly unique to them. There is no one best way to achieve a fantastic wedding day. Memorable wedding days don’t just happen, they are assembled by a team of professionals understanding that a Brides fantasy wedding needs to be extracted from her visions piece by piece and reassembled into their own special day.

The only requests to be denied are those extremely rare requests that would truly reflect poorly on the Bride, her families or the professional she is working with. There is no right or wrong way, no better or worse way there is only the Brides way and not because she is selfish or inconsiderate but for one reason; she deserves it.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net/sattva