Whose
Wedding is this?
There are many sensitive topics that present themselves
immediately after a couple has announced their engagement and that is preferably
AFTER the groom to be has asked for permission, from the parents of the Bride,
to take their daughter’s hand in marriage before he proposed, but that’s for
another day. Times have changed, an adage probably invoked too frequently and
often times as an excuse for socially unacceptable behaviors, also for another
day. What has not changed is the interaction between a mother and her daughter
as the young lady makes her plans for the most important day of her life.
A Mother’s influence begins to come to a close as her
daughter celebrates the beginning of her life journey with her new partner.
From conception to wedding day, a Mom’s true purpose through love, teaching,
compassion, understanding, empathy and guidance is to prepare her daughter to
become independent and make good choices. When her choice of life partner is
made it is a cause for celebration, rejoice and congratulations for the Mom
knowing she has had a hand in the preparation of her daughter to make this
choice.
The Bride has been influenced in ways she will not fully
understand until she becomes a mother herself. The bride has learned from her
mom, resisted influence from her mom, has not always understood her mom’s
rules, words, consequences, or emotions. She also, after reflection,
understands that her mom has
unconditional love and wants nothing more for her than to happily live a long
life.
From proposal to honeymoon this dance between Mother and
Daughter may seem tense and confrontational but it’s a dance done with love and
caring so ADVICE to Dads, sisters and the groom, LISTEN but don’t join, or
worse yet, try too cut into the dance.
Why
is this important? We sometimes forget what the motivation is of the loved ones
and friends that occupy our circle of life. Moms may have too much influence on
the wedding planning and choices. Daughters may resist suggestions for a
variety of sensible and emotional reasons. All those involved, on occasion,
might have to step back and evaluate their motivation for the choices they are
making for the wedding day. As reference you may also want to revisit previous
Samuel's Grande Manor / Ask a Wedding Expert blog “The Brides Bill of Rights” https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2772849138841534791#editor/target=post;postID=6924574480005638204;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=12;src=postname
Periodically all those involved should ask, Who’s wedding is this?
Mother and daughter relationships are so important. I am really close to my mother and look uptp her more than anything. Keeping a good relation with your mother is healthy. You yourself feel happy and calm knowing the relationship is strong.
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