Whose Wedding is this?

 

Whose Wedding is this?

There are many sensitive topics that present themselves immediately after a couple has announced their engagement and that is preferably AFTER the groom to be has asked for permission, from the parents of the Bride, to take their daughter’s hand in marriage before he proposed, but that’s for another day. Times have changed, an adage probably invoked too frequently and often times as an excuse for socially unacceptable behaviors, also for another day. What has not changed is the interaction between a mother and her daughter as the young lady makes her plans for the most important day of her life.

A Mother’s influence begins to come to a close as her daughter celebrates the beginning of her life journey with her new partner. From conception to wedding day, a Mom’s true purpose through love, teaching, compassion, understanding, empathy and guidance is to prepare her daughter to become independent and make good choices. When her choice of life partner is made it is a cause for celebration, rejoice and congratulations for the Mom knowing she has had a hand in the preparation of her daughter to make this choice.

The Bride has been influenced in ways she will not fully understand until she becomes a mother herself. The bride has learned from her mom, resisted influence from her mom, has not always understood her mom’s rules, words, consequences, or emotions. She also, after reflection, understands  that her mom has unconditional love and wants nothing more for her than to happily live a long life.

From proposal to honeymoon this dance between Mother and Daughter may seem tense and confrontational but it’s a dance done with love and caring so ADVICE to Dads, sisters and the groom, LISTEN but don’t join, or worse yet, try too cut into the dance.   

Why is this important? We sometimes forget what the motivation is of the loved ones and friends that occupy our circle of life. Moms may have too much influence on the wedding planning and choices. Daughters may resist suggestions for a variety of sensible and emotional reasons. All those involved, on occasion, might have to step back and evaluate their motivation for the choices they are making for the wedding day. As reference you may also want to revisit previous Samuel's Grande Manor / Ask a Wedding Expert  blog “The Brides Bill of Rights”  https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2772849138841534791#editor/target=post;postID=6924574480005638204;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=12;src=postname

Periodically all those involved should ask, Who’s wedding is this?

Wedding Planning Stress

Wedding Planning Stress 

Stress:  a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.

One of our favorite questions to ask a newly engaged couple and parents of the Bride & Groom; on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a walk in the park and 10 it’s time to elope, what are your expectations of  the planning process for the wedding? It is not always the answers we receive that are the most telling, often times it is the body signals of the person not answering in response to the person answering that tells us the stress level of the guests we are assisting.

Regardless of what you are anticipating this process to be like there are two core principles you should remind yourself of everyday.

·        

       Good Stress is still Stress!

·         The planning process is supposed to be FUN!!!

Good Stress is Still Stress! How we each handle stress is as unique as we are as individuals. Use your own best stress relieving techniques when needed, eliminate stress when you can and when it should be someone else’s stress let it be their stress not yours.

The planning process is supposed to be fun! Most, in the beginning phases will see this as easier said than done. There should be a methodical order to planning your wedding and this often times will rely on utilizing the expertise of the professionals you will be hiring. Many of the topics in past blogs have dealt with the same issues that impact the enjoyment you will or will not have planning your wedding.

Hiring quality, established, experience professionals is critical. These individuals will be the ones who provide you with information and answers to questions before you ask the questions. It is in the best interest of any qualified wedding vendor to be two steps ahead of their clients. Anticipating questions and concerns will more likely lead to a more fulfilled vision that a couple has for their wedding day. If you have to be the one always asking the questions it could be an indication that you have more knowledge about that particular service than the person you are interviewing. You may want to move along to someone else if that is the case.

Like your professionals! Seems pretty simple, but many couples are swayed into purchasing goods or services based solely on recommendations, prices, or reputation. These are critical to take into consideration when  hiring a company but you still have to enjoy working with the person providing the services to fully enjoy the final results. Personalities sometimes clash and it doesn’t mean that the vendor you are considering is poor quality but it does mean that you should consider other options.

Do it your way! The path that you and your fiancé have traveled to get to this point and time is unique exclusively to the two of you. Your wedding reception should be reflective of that uniqueness. The event planner you will be working with should be asking questions, listening to your dreams and molding an event to perfectly fit you.

The many months following the proposal will be filled with compromises, decisions and commitments as you begin to plan your new lives together. This life enriching experience, when done well, will provide volumes of cherished memories for you both to enjoy as you grow old together.