Saturday, April 11, 2015

Whose Wedding is this?

Whose Wedding is this?
There are many sensitive topics that present themselves immediately after a couple has announced their engagement and that is preferably AFTER the groom to be has asked for permission, from the parents of the Bride, to take their daughter’s hand in marriage before he proposed, but that’s for another day. Times have changed, an adage probably invoked too frequently and often times as an excuse for socially unacceptable behaviors, also for another day. What has not changed is the interaction between a mother and her daughter as the young lady makes her plans for the most important day of her life.

A Mother’s influence begins to come to a close as her daughter celebrates the beginning of her life journey with her new partner. From conception to wedding day, a Mom’s true purpose through love, teaching, compassion, understanding, empathy and guidance is to prepare her daughter to become independent and make good choices. When her choice of life partner is made it is a cause for celebration, rejoice and congratulations for the Mom knowing she has had a hand in the preparation of her daughter to make this choice.

The Bride has been influenced in ways she will not fully understand until she becomes a mother herself. The bride has learned from her mom, resisted influence from her mom, has not always understood her mom’s rules, words, consequences, or emotions. She also, after reflection, understands  that her mom has unconditional love and wants nothing more for her than to happily live a long life.

From proposal to honeymoon this dance between Mother and Daughter may seem tense and confrontational but it’s a dance done with love and caring so ADVICE to Dads, sisters and the groom, LISTEN but don’t join, or worse yet, try too cut into the dance.   

Why is this important? We sometimes forget what the motivation is of the loved ones and friends that occupy our circle of life. Moms may have too much influence on the wedding planning and choices. Daughters may resist suggestions for a variety of sensible and emotional reasons. All those involved, on occasion, might have to step back and evaluate their motivation for the choices they are making for the wedding day. As reference you may also want to revisit previous Samuel's Grande Manor / Ask a Wedding Expert  blog “The Brides Bill of Rights”;postID=6924574480005638204;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=12;src=postname
Periodically all those involved should ask, Who’s wedding is this?