Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Toasting and Roasting

An hour of catching up with old friends, seldom seen relatives, and your closest family members all while soaking in a wonderful atmosphere enjoying  your favorite beverage experiencing new foods and feeling the energy of a party beginning to build with the excitement of relaxing, enjoying, and celebrating a couple’s first step on their journey together as husband and wife. Fantastic! It can’t get any better! Minutes away from the anticipated indulgence of a scrumptious meal soon to be served. The only thing between you and the next fine experience of the evening are the toast(s) by loved ones of the Bride & Groom?

Fifteen minutes later and you’ve forgotten what you have experienced that first hour, how much fun you were having or what you had ordered for dinner. You have now endured  twenty minutes of an endless recantation of every story that the Maid of honor for the wedding could remember from the past two decades. Short essays scribbled on an seemingly endless stack of pieces of paper. Nothing inappropriate but humor only found by those select few who have any idea what she is talking about.  It’s O.K. though, she’s wrapping it up,,,, wait,,,, RATS!!! She’s written on the backs of the papers also. She’s done, Yippee! Now the Best Man will keep it short and sweet. Wrong, not short and not sweet. Is the best man aware that the Mother’s of the Bride & Groom (not to mention the now Wife of said Groom) are sitting directly in front of him as he retells the story of the night at the ballet, the stories of ex-girlfriends, imitations of the Grooms most recent evening of over indulgence? Now thirty minutes later (seems like a visit to the dentist) and the proverbial winds have been sucked out of your good time party sails.

This is really very simple, keep it simple! Everyone already knows how much you love and are loved by the Bride & Groom. You are the Best Man or Maid of Honor, you were picked for their wedding because, next to their now spouse, you are likely their most trusted and loved friend in the room.

Toast Do NOT Roast! Toast to their love for each other. Toast to their future life together. Toast to their successes and triumphs. Toast to their long, prosperous and fruitful life together. Toast to their dreams, aspirations, and Toast to the reality that they are now bound together for eternity.

What needs to be said can be said in 3 – 4 minutes. The rest can be said in private with a small group of friends not at the expense of 150 other guests who know nothing of what you are talking about.

Simple Tips for a memorable and appreciated Toast;
  1. Find appropriate inspirational quotes from famous people.
  2. Maximum length is 5 minutes, preferably 2 – 4 minutes.
  3. Plan ahead and practice.
  4. Do NOT speak of
    1. Ex girl friends, boy friends, or spouses
    2. Past inappropriate behaviors
    3. Anything to do with bodily functions

Follow these tips, and you'll be well on your way to a memorable toast!

Image courtesy of


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